Saturday, July 19, 2014

Blah-G Post #1

After coming to a sort of term that I should continue to write, I'm faced with my doubt or lack of confidence in my ability to hold a straight thought, to write something cohesive enough for the average reader or acquaintance to grasp. Or, I'd feel self-conscious about someone who knows me well reading it. Most certainly it's myself, though. Reading over everything I've written here in the past almost makes me cringe, or at least laugh at whomever happened to be thinking those words at the time. Stream of consciousness can be fun, though!

I just got out of a screening of the documentary film Life Itself, about the life of Roger Ebert. I liked how it presented things that are socially seen as "negative" in not necessarily an optimistic light, but with an assumption that the audience is personable enough to empathize and hold a greater knowledge about the events given the perception of the person or idea as a whole. Writing came to Ebert so easily though, and it was the only way he was able to put all his problems in the back of his head. To be that kind of person, to express with writing, do you not have to be one who thinks primarily in words? What about those with a cacophony of self-understood shifting wavelengths of feeling, or of fears and subdued passion? Even William Burroughs, another man I learned a bit about today, seemed to have required help from beatnik friends to put ideas together for Naked Lunch. His book touring assistant also confessed that one of his primary jobs was to find heroin in the underworld of every town visited, which is hilarious. Anyway, instead of thinking in fears (a full-time personal project, mind you) or trying to piece together ideas broken from the start, I'll try writing more in general. All that the public sees is a final draft, and I'm not one to proofread (what's telling me that something is better or worse?). These days, "writing" seems to be socially-charged sensationalist media punctuated by meaningless pictures wrenched in irony. Does anyone just write for the sake of it? I'd like to expand on that, but I can't.

Ideas are always flowing around in my head, but they're typically the same ones. Sometimes it's a little reminder or flashback to a segment of a future film script, but they really come in just that - segments. Sometimes the big picture of the film rears its head, but it's always something different - surely different from how it will be once I write the little things. I do rather like them, though. Outside of The Pit, which is still pretty clear in my head, though a barebones of the past. Then, there's a surrealist end-of-the-world flick about art, how meaning can change, friendship and love, and sickness. There's a romantic/nihilist western centered on three characters with different intentions to shape both the dying frontier as well as their own parts in it - that of course leads to destruction. Then, there's a drug-addled road trip drama, though this one is least fleshed out in terms of a visual style. It is all dialogue, as of now - my weakest venture! Still, I would like to profess this blog post as the first step towards "achieving" all of these!