"Sonetto 2"

Here is to you my presence so bright
Our spirits will soon as one imbibe
Beckon the feline wolves of the night
Brighten our darkened boughs so needless to scribe

However may judgment crash upon your mind
Your eyes see softly through cataracts of dew
In their deep brown blue, I picture every stance of kind
You make me realize how much I love you

Please remember when you ever think of me
Whomever you diffuse he to be

(Oh, and happy birthday!)

"Auburn Blue"

I wish to drain your auburn eyes
into the absolute collective blue
To shed this skin
and dance on the clouds
that we have created
until they are no longer me and you
The sky turns dark
and I forever still believe in the navy blue
I have seen it persist,
and if we fall,
if I fall,
if you sigh a new cloud,
I shall fall into the sea and
reverse my breadth until there is no
high place from which to fall

"Superliminal"

The first words to which I would
ascribe more than I ever could
are laid neatly as follows
in a serial calm, static within the
everlashing storm by relative motion
of my center to my now within
infinite axes of evil

For an immaleable plaque marking
what should be a gravesite reads
in unison with the new, young scribes
who were born without hope
I beckon her to read from the
superliminal excitatory songs of
malice while remembering a plea to
remember silence, or, true love

Organs take turns screaming out
childish rumors of a promised perfection
One that not until I reach an
unseen restoration can be risked to
risk - the message is, you could
have had it all. You could have
needed no more messages, a lovely
nihil to share

And mine rings untrue by virtue
of desiring virtues I claim to
be self-righteously inhuman by the
forces of my own humanity

By this, I hope you have lost
track as have I, I hope you
sigh as she must sigh in my
eye the day-to-day as I
cry instead of die

"Sonetto 1"

After all my dreams are through
All the thought that remains is you
Soon I see all the shades of blue
Soon there is nothing I can do

The dreams persist into the day
To remember them there is no way
Wishing I were at the bay
Not any way I am today

I must, I must always flee
These states in which I do not choose to be

"Meddling with Death" (3/7/13)

(uh, pretty sure I wrote this after arriving home from the hospital. even more schizophrenic than the others. enjoy!)

Command your guards fall asunder
those of balance and betrayal
and it shall be that all reigns
free in a kingdom of infinite
Kill the king, all hail the Spring
But the decrees stand tall and
hold you to a wall
Until a vacuum inside keeps
static the Fall - all seems lost,
but not at all
A silent wish for death falls
upon silent foes
A desperate turn for upheaval
and a yearning for less
You are still my sorceress
and nothing below non-expectations
can touch you
Forever I doubt my mortality
until I hear your voice
Forever I doubt my voice
until I die
Sowing the spurting sprouts of
none other than the future
and no more nor less than
every change is the
eternal path, visible,
harvestable, invisible, arid
These arid waters filled my spine
unencumbered while the stream of
everflowing joy forks hourly
I die for you, you my construct,
happenstance, perfection anti-incarnate
My sacrifice is for no one -
sacred, artificial self-annihilation
I promise - this will be the last
I foresee the decade full of
lasting appeal and infinite blanks
shot too slowly out of my flora
Floored by my dishonesty shall
I proclaim victor
In the poor man's race to completion
Talking to you is a spell
that dispels all evil, that
must be checked in the tome
until downregulating all words
The value of feeling dies every
time I close the book

Anger

      I would like to post this blog-like post here, as it may be deemed too "negative" for my professional blog-like page.

      People often speak about constructs such as politics, society, socio-politics, economics, socio-political economics, and all of those keywords. For the past few years, I have thought these to be the least interesting topic of conversation of all. There's no way to gauge the “value” of dialogue outside of the mutual interest of the two parties, but any time someone speaks of human rights, conspiracies, “the system” – all I can reply is, “Yeah, hm,” and all I can think is “ .” It holds nothing to me, as I think in the grand scheme. Possibly too much. I've held the personal displeasure of believing that I am “above” such things, things that truly do not exist outside of conversation and debates.
      My long term goal is to make a personal reality away from the things that I disavow, to set my nihilism active and transcend all of this shallowness. To create a foundation where I can act through the bare minimum of what people say I “should do” to live in this world. To me, that means paying off my debts, then making enough money and learning enough to live outside of the confines of words thrown around like “society.” This is why I chose to live on a farm, to lay a videography foundation and live through things that truly are important through Nietzschean and general nihilist perspectives – art, friendship, relationships, universal knowledge, love, health, and the sublime.
      People have told me, “Well, you can't do that. That's not how the world works.” Which world? Of course I am. Because I AM better than this, I am smarter than this, and I know many people stuck in the same trap as I are smarter than this. Everyone has their way of transcending such superficial values that many hold as self-evident. I myself have felt like all work for money I have done in the last two years has been to pay off the debts of people who have taken advantage of me – scams, psychotic entrepreneurs making false promises, a bank that doesn't tell me about their interest policy, parking tickets... as well as the personal faults of my lifetime I have to make up for now – an unhealthy childhood, attempts to numb any attempts to ascend, my trustiness of people and the workings of things, the naivete and instability of my past, the paradox of romantic ideals.
      Now, I just need to suck it up, face what most call “reality,” and work these inner workings to pay off my debt. Soon, the true, sublime, ancestral, and transcendent will shed light. I hope to affect others in a way that would give them such enlightenment as well.

      Any speech about the misworkings of “The System” is just as absurd as the words of “The System itself.”

      Then again, who am I to say these words, strewn together out of immediate anger over a parking ticket in the contraption that seems to embody all of this -- New York City, are of more value than the ones I condemn? Oh well – they are my own.

"Almost Angels"

My ancestral eyes cannot outline
a light shot directly within in the withering dark
And the angels wait at the gates
of pearled splendor before the universe
appoints finite titles to all
The optics so calculated trump these wings of desire
and as I gather an ecstatic excess of information
only a quiet, studded white wall foreshadows angelic faces unknown
Faces that I hope to meet soon
Faces that breathe as I do
And I can't remember the early permutations of my sighs
The black wall, devoid of texture,
on the border of my optics and mind,
the link between vision and thoughts,
sees me express the build-up
Oh, so many, many shapes, patterns,
landscapes and faces
as I surrender a need to sleep
They form around the pupil,
never lingering within, never direct enough
to stare at and maintain
Facescapes and lands grow meaninglessly
towards completion, reaching only the
limit of a freezeframe before
sheathing themselves with the next
Like children's toes dabbling teasingly at the blank spherical wave's grasp
A game of maintaining dry feet as the waves contort endlessly
However, I am not always a child, and I do not laugh
as my limbs skim fleetingly across the endless charity of the eyes of the storm
At least the angels I see will be able to fly
soon enough