“Backdraft"

When I think of you, you'd glimpse a death
When I think of you, perversion becomes unwanted reality
When I envision you, I think you aren't there
When you are there, I envision not so
I confirm you again and again, filling in the blanks until you are nothing

I try to think of you, but death preceeds
I try to love you, but lust bleeds
Unwanted
Random thoughts they are not me, or are they?

When I envision you, I see you aren't there
When you are there, I can't see through your hair

I confirm you again and again, filling in the blanks until you are nothing and I am less, but more and more and less and less

Cutting corners with these own two hands manifests the apparent
But why? Visualize the unseen?
A constant reaffirmation of incomplete unity

I think, I know, I know, I think...
When I tell a lie, I convince myself it's truth
When I believe a truth, it soon becomes a lie

If I always change, I know I love you
I know I do
And I know, with every breathe I take, I shall change
This I do not know